How do you cross your borders?

Travelling! Time for a few thoughts about borders. Borders meet us everywhere, borders between land and sea, cultural borders, interpersonal borders, sometimes my horizon is limited, sometimes the body. Communication is often limited: when the other person simply does not understand what you want to say or something completely different arrives. Thoughts are limited, when they turn in circles and somehow it does not go any further. Possibilities often seem limited: I can not do this and that, though I would like to … Because there is always a reason – and sometimes even a good one.

Yoga helps you to cross your borders, you often hear. And it does somehow. Yoga is like a journey to a foreign country. At first you may be shy, perhaps afraid, because everything is unknown, the first steps are timid, then, the longer or more often you stay in that country, everything becomes more familiar. You get to know the people and their habits, explore more and more regions and more and more borders dissolve as if by magic. So also in yoga: Impossible, you may first think of a difficult asana. But then, the longer and more often you practice, the limit shifts from the impossible to the possible.

But does that mean, that yoga has the goal, that we all and always have to cross our borders? Are borders something bad? And what are the limits for? About permanent crossing? A limit first serves me to perceive myself. When practicing: At some point in the forward bend, it does not go on. I can feel that point exactly when I’m mindful. And then I can work on it, with aplomb, for example to become more flexible. Borders want to be explored: Why is this limit there now? Is it physical, is it in the mind or is it emotional? Everyone has different physical conditions and everyone has different experiences in life, so everyone has their own natural limits. Many borders are set themselves – but they are not without reason.

Crossing borders: that sounds great and worthwhile. But is it not possible to do that by exploring the reasons for one’s own limits and then slowly expanding the boundaries? This has a completely different quality and it starts here: by accepting and perceiving one’s own limits.

The other day I saw a post from a woman, who was not sure if she should go to the yoga class. She just does not feel like it. There were many answers, as different as the people and how they deal with their boundaries. Go anyway, that’s just the inner bastard. After that you feel better. That was one side. Listen to your body, it wants to tell you something. Do what you feel like, was the other side. What now? How do you deal with your limits? How do you find out if it’s just an internal blockage that can easily be shaken off or if the inner border is just right? That’s the hard part: you can only cross boundaries if you cross borders. That is why it is especially important to first of all accept, explore, and carefully expand the boundaries step by step. In case of a violent border crossing, I only hurt myself or others.

A friendly Acroyoga couple has shown me this recently in a beautiful way. It was about an injury she had, and how they dealt with it. They both accepted the border, that was suddenly there. They had to change their entire training, starting from scratch. Many tears, a lot of frustration, goals that were just close, are suddenly far away. If she had not accepted her limit, she might have hurt herself even worse. If he had not accepted the border, he might have been looking for another training partner. Instead, they have found new ways together, perceived how the situation is now and slowly expanding the boundaries again. Both of them have learned much more than they would have learned without this borderline experience. And today, as a couple and acro partner, they are stronger and much more grown together than before.

On the other hand, there are also people, who seemingly do not perceive any boundaries, neither their own nor those of others, and therefore constantly cross their own borders and others. What is behind this quest for limitlessness? After all, that’s the desire for fusion, for unity. In yoga the big goal: Samadhi.

The bizarre with the limits: This unity comes somehow only closer, if one accepts the own borders first – and then expands them. I imagine, that just like a small bubble in a big bubble. If you do not notice the limitation of your little bubble, you might come across the big bubble again and again. And maybe there is a brief sense of unity and boundlessness. But it is only a short shot out of the own bubble, like an arrow, a violent crossing of the border. And the big bubble keeps pushing this intruder back into its limited bubble. Because this border crossing did not happen as a whole, but only from one point out. However, if one perceives the edge of his small bubble, explores its limitation, the reasons of boundaries and slowly expands, then the small bubble in the big bubble is getting bigger. And eventually the little bubble becomes the big bubble. This is fusion, unity, because the self as a whole expands, the limits are extended, not exceeded.

Like the Acro couple, that suddenly found themselves in a smaller bubble than before. But instead of one having broken out, they have expanded together again, making them a much stronger unit. A border extension from the depth out.
Or as traveling: There’s the cliché of the typical English tourist. And he really exists! He comes to a foreign country, rumbles around, barks after a few beers in English at the locals and expects that everyone understands him, has no respect for the customs of the inhabitants, occupied with his towel the beach chairs by the pool … Although he has been in the foreign country and perhaps also believes that he knows this now, he was not there at all. He’s just shot like an arrow from his bladder, also a kind of violent crossing of the border.

And there are many of them every day. When others cross our borders, it can be very hurtful, just as when I go beyond my own limits. Might it be in yoga, in sports, in other physical challenges, in interpersonal relationships, in relationships, on travels or simply in an conversation with one another: Crossing borders without first having consciously perceived and accepted the border is always a kind of a violent act. At least most people do not do it because of evil or knowingly, but because they simply do not perceive their own limits and those of others.

How do I want to be in my own life, towards myself and others? Like an Englishman on vacation? What are your limits and why? Do you cross the boundaries of others – and why? How does it feel when you cross your limits? Do you shoot arrows and always land in your little bubble or do you expand slowly but steadily?