Finding my own tempo

Berlin! 550 kilometers separate us. How many times have I driven this track this year? And this time it took a very long time. Time to let my thoughts wander and to look for the big picture in the small things of everyday life. What came out? Life is a highway ride! :)))

Sometimes the track is free and I can accelerate. Sometimes an obstacle appears and slows me down. Sometimes it is so full, that you have to adapt to the flow of the others. Do I really have to? No, I don’t have to adapt, it’s an illusion, because I always have the free choice. I can change lanes and I can drive my pace the way I want it. If someone harasses me, I can decide freely: Let I drive myself from someone and drive faster than I actually want – or do I change the track and let him pass?
Sometimes the traffic comes to a complete standstill. Traffic jam again. And again the free choice: Will I get angry and impatient, because I will not reach my goal as fast as I wanted? Or do I use the given time? Maybe I’ll listen to a CD, that I have not heard in a long time. Or I’m not alone, and see this congestion as an extra time with my co-driver and as an opportunity for a good conversation. Or I take a break and call a good friend, whom I wanted to call anyway. If I do not focus on the traffic jam and my impatience, there are so many ways to make the best of the situation …

Sometimes crazy people on the highway of life cross my path. They honk, blink, cut me. And again it is my free choice: I can become terribly angry about the behavior of others. I can show them my anger by doing the same. I could let someone over and then press him from behind. By the way, nothing that I would not have done in the heat of the moment :)). But do I really want that? How am I doing with this? This is not me and it is certainly no longer my pace, when I let myself be carried away by the first impulsive feeling: “I’ll show it!”. Like on the highway in real interpersonal life with such patterns the just quiet highway ride quickly becomes a dangerous race. A spiral, that keeps spiraling until it crashes – or one gets out and decides to find its own pace.

When life slows down from 180 to zero, when new obstacles open up, when others jeopardize your own wellbeing, or when you feel like you’re in a hamster wheel, because the others set a pace, that’s not your own: get out and find your own pace. Finding the gap – even if it is only a small one at first.

Breathe and become aware of your re-actions

But how? So if even a small car trip can reflect life, then the reverse is working also. Everything is connected. What helped me on this drive: Before the first traffic jam, I was in my everyday tunnel. Berlin! The goal firmly in sight, the foot on the gas. With the traffic jam the trouble came. Sure, because that did not fit into my concept, my plans were thwarted. After a while with traffic jam and annoyances I felt more and more uncomfortable. Inner restlessness, sweaty hands, palpitations and Oh my god: Now I’m already hugging the others from behind. Then I thought of my yoga practice: Breathe! Conscious breathing. Be aware of why I re-act the way I do. And break out of the pattern. It quickly became clear again: it is not the traffic jam, that is the problem. It is my reaction to the traffic jam.

And that’s exactly what often happens in (interpersonal) life. Life is constantly facing new challenges and obstacles for us. I can stubbornly go straight ahead and annoy me about the obstacles or I take the detour as my new way and find my own pace there.
Sometimes people cross our paths, who simply ignore or interpret the “traffic rules” in a different way. Respect, honesty and consideration can flute easily. But as with the tailingaiters on the highway, it’s my free decision, whether I play these games – or if I change the track.
To drive at my own pace means for me to be aware of my self. I have this free choice in every moment: to become aware of my feelings, thoughts and actions instead of simply allowing myself to be driven by them or others. And that’s definitely a job for life. Because most of the time we live –  as I just did before this traffic jam –  unconsciously and in our own tunnel. Sometimes it probably takes a jam to widen the view again.